About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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