yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
