No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I currently don't understand fingers.
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