:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
