We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
