Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
