This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
