just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
