super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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