please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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