batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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