Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
