I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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