i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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