I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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