what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
operation harelip BJ is a go
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
