They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
