He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
