Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just cropdusted the office
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
