If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
