Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
kristin has been a bad kristin
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
