Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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