Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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