Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
