Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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