Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
