i don't like sucking hair
P.S. I can't hear my feet
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
