i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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