Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
