Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize