Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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