dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
