everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
