Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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