I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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