smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
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