Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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