tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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