we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize