She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
