Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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