Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
