Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize