If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
