ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize
