the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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