I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
