mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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