I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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