If that was your dad, he is hot
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
