So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
