Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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