You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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