used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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