If i come over, it means nothing
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
