i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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