it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
