Your dad touched me again.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
