two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
