What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
