We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
