He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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